How many times do we question why our husband’s don’t do “nice” things for us out of the blue? We want love notes, back rubs, flowers, dishes done, a night away from the kids…whatever the wish may be.

We talk about actions being stronger than words. I’m sure none of us are whining about such things on a regular basis, but I bet we’ve all had moments where we felt that way.

But, have you thought that maybe our sweetie’s feel the same way? Most men won’t tell you how they’re feeling so you likely have never heard them share their feelings about being shown appreciation and love. However, I can almost guarantee you that they would love little actions of your love here and there.

I had my “ah ha” moment the other day after I had a conversation with a friend about my marriage. Don’t get me wrong, we’re doing well as usual. We are the great team we’ve always been, but our lives have been so unbelievably stressful due to the things going on with my family. All the stress and heartache does take its toll on everyone, including us.

After I got done feeling sorry for myself I realized I was being a fool. Why was it up to him to make us happy and uplifted as a couple again? Why did he have to make the first move? Why was it all on his shoulders? And why was I asking him to be mind reader?

So the next day I made it a point to call and leave him a sweet message on his phone, clean up the home (and I mean spotless), do the dishes, make him some cookies and milk and have it ready when he walked in the door, and give him a back/foot rub without asking for one in return.

I can’t tell you the glow he had, the love in his eyes, the appreciation he had for the things I had done. He couldn’t get over it. Of course we do things for each other, we express our love, we say it all the time, and we really do appreciate each other…but, it isn’t often enough that I go above and beyond for him like I did….just piling on all the unselfish acts of kindness and love.

It lightened the mood, made us feel all giddy, closer, and brought about a cuddling and talking session we hadn’t made time for in awhile.

So, the next time we feel like things are dull, stale, stressful, or maybe we’re getting a bit unconnected with our sweetie’s…we should remember to take the time to wow him first!

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  1. A sweet reminder.

    Have you read the book The Five Love Languages? It talks about how each of us has a primary “love language” and how by learning our mate’s language we can show them love. For example my DH is an “acts of service” Keeping the house clean and doing things to help him out is what shows him he is appreciated. Anyway, an interesting read. 🙂

  2. Thanks for the reminder Nell. I really have to work at this kind of stuff..except for with my kids I am so NOT affectionate. Passionate yes…affectionate no and my hubby is VERY affectionate so I have to go out of my comfort zone to be more affectionate and “sweet” with him. It is important. 🙂

    That book sounds good Kaiya.

  3. Thanks for the reminder Nell. This made me realize that I have been putting the burden on my hubby to make me happy – I think he’ll get some good old fashioned pampering tonight.

  4. Wow nice pictures! I have posted my Wordless Wednesday, come check it out! I had my back tooth pulled today, Iw as heavily sedated, in other words IV sedation, so I am taking it easy, but it hurt like heck after that novacaine wore off! Whew!

    Happy WW!


  5. Very smart advice! I’m not married anymore but I know my boyfriend appreciates it when I take some time to really think of him and show him some special attention. 🙂 Good reminder!

  6. You Nell you hit the nail on the head when you said we expect our men to do it all and that started all the way back in the Book of Genesis when God took Adam’s Rib and made Eve. Men have always been the giver and women the receiver but somewhere we got it messed all up.

    I have read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and it changed my world. I wanted to love my man the way I wanted to be loved. His love language is different than mine and vice versa. He likes Acts of Service (one of the languages) and I am a Words of Affirmation girl. You have to get the book!

  7. Janelle,
    What an inspiration your writing is. I think that we as wives and moms could use constant reminders of the sweet things we can do for our dear husbands.
    Thanks for the reminder Michelle

  8. You made a very good point. Thanks for the reminder. My hubby’s been working so hard not only on clients’ jobs but on our own house as well. I think it’s time to make him his favorite dinner and pick up some Godiva chocolates.

  9. So, the next time we feel like things are dull, stale, stressful, or maybe we’re getting a bit unconnected with our sweetie’s…we should remember to take the time to wow him first!

    You hit the nail on the head Nell!

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