Will 2017 be the year I regain my figure? I hope so. I plan it to be. But, every year I hope so and every year passes with either very little weight loss, or even some weight gain.
I’m so tired of seeing a different woman looking back at me in the mirror than the woman I knew all my life before Lyme disease changed my life, my health, and eventually, my body.
I’m ready to lose the double chin, the fat cheeks, the overweight body. And I’m okay with admitting that and saying, you know what, yes I want to regain my health, but I also want to be thin again. I want to feel good in my clothing. I want to wear things I haven’t worn in awhile. I want to not have my legs rub together, or my rolls to bother me.
I don’t want to sit with a purse over my lap to disguise my overweight belly. I don’t want to think about what clothes will make me look a little less fat.
I want to be able to run and chase my children, walk up the stairs, and ride my bike without being winded. Most of all, I want to see me when I look in the mirror. I miss me. I miss who I was before Lyme disease took over my life.
Losing weight won’t make me healthy, as far as Lyme disease is concerned. It won’t kill the bacteria. But it can only help with other health issues that might be looming, just waiting to strike my body.
I have such a hard time losing weight. I do great up to ten pounds and then hit a wall and have to push hard to get through it, which is, not only hard to do because of my health problems, but very discouraging. I did great last year. For a full month I worked out and watched what I ate. And when I stepped on the scale and didn’t like what I saw, I gave it all up and went back to old eating habits and stopped working out.
There’s so much more about this than just eating habits. I’m on medication that can cause weight gain. My glands are out of whack, which can cause weight gain. I’m fatigued and have weak muscles from Lyme disease, which makes it very hard to work out. I have pain, which flares with even just walking. But in the end, this IS about self control and creating good habits.
The more I write this the more convinced I am that this is my year. The year I go back in time and revive this woman staring back at me.
And though I may never get down to that weight again, as I don’t even know if it’s possible with all my health problems, I am hopeful I will be able to lose 30 plus pounds this year.
One day at a time.
One step at a time.
One bite at a time.
I can do this.
