I don’t question why I’m sick anymore. Ten years into my journey and I now think, what can I learn through this journey?
So often people question God, they wonder why He allowed something in their lives. I choose not to ponder that, pondering why something happened to me, rather – I choose to embrace the lessons through a journey and focus on what I do know – God is love.
Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t warmly embrace Lyme disease as a blessing because being chronically ill in itself is not a blessing, but God DOES bless me through the pain, He does walk with me, He does give me the opportunity to learn, to grow, should I choose to.
I find it not useful at all to wonder why something happened to me.
If you can look at your circumstances from the eyes of God is good no matter what, God is faithful no matter what, God loves you no matter what, God wants you well no matter what – you will embrace joy through pain, you will find beauty in your ashes, you will surprise yourself with your own strength and your determination to embrace whatever journey you find yourself on.
Will you have down days? Yes. Do I? Yes. Oh, absolutely yes. Overall, though, throughout the ten years, I’ve battled the disease, I’ve found more valuable lessons than painful questions. I’ve discovered more love than disappointment. I see more goodness in humanity than not. I’ve seen how strong I am rather than focusing on my weaknesses and limitations.
But, most importantly, I’ve seen how God has been there every step of the way. I’ve never been alone on this long, often, painful journey. And I never will be. And friend, neither have or will you.