nice to meet you
My name is Nell
I’m a mama and wife first, they’ll always be the most important part of my life. I’m also chronically ill, fighting for my “normal” and working to heal my body everyday. I’m also a believer in Jesus, artsy type, blogger, writer, nature-lover, walk-taker, rescue dog advocate, Netflix and chiller, and all the things! You can read more about me at the link below.
Latest Thoughts About Life
Just my latest thoughts about life, family, faith, and what’s in my heart right now.
Latest Family Stories
Just my latest thoughts about life, family, faith, and what’s in my heart right now.
Hanging Memories
For Father’s Day, I made socks for my husband of my children’s hardcore faces. Something unique and fun; even though he doesn’t ever wear them. ha! My husband loved the faces they made, so I turned them into 11×14-inch photos, per his suggestion, and hung them in the living room. He loved that! The first thing you’ll see as you walk into our living room is 11×14 inch photos of my kid’s hardcore faces and I love it! While our middle son played video games, and our youngest finished up school, my eldest and husband hung the pictures. They worked together to level the frames; you should hear how quick my oldest son is at math! Straight from that big smart math brain of his; I joked that I should carry him around in my pocket like my personal calculator. As I sit at the dining room table typing this article out, my family are all in the living room next to me and my heart couldn’t be more happy. They’re still with us, still safe, still making daily memories, and I’m so blessed. Oh sure, life is not easy peasy. It isn’t light-hearted and without harshship. We’re actually in the middle of some hard stuff right now, but I know how blessed we still are as a family and I’m honored to be their mama and my husband’s wife.
When Life is Hard
It’s been a week since something really hard happened with our family. And in some ways, it felt like it was just yesterday, while in other ways I feel like I’ve been walking through this sludge for months. It’s been a weird nightmare, a dream I can’t wake from. We’re in for a long road before life returns to any type of normal, but truth me told, our normal is never going to be the same, It’ll have to be a new normal. I’ve lost a lot of weight just from the stress. Sleep was next to impossible to get but I’m slowly getting back to a better schedule. My appetite is slowly returning. But my heart is fractured in ways I can’t explain to anyone. Nor do I want to at this time. So, the little things have been getting me through the 24 hours in every day. And some of those little things have been nature, my sweet dog, and little family moments. We finally had a break in the weather today, so I got out with my pup and we took a nice little walk around the block. The clouds were enjoyable, the breeze was refreshing, and it felt like a nice big hug from God. I know He’s with me and us and I feel Him more now than in recent years. Onward we go with one step in front of another.
Adult Children
My heart and joy and the reason I smile are my children. All three. But there’s something extra special about newly adult kids, who are making a way in their life, working, schooling, and growing into adults and you get to watch them go from your sweet baby to a man. I love when this one gets home from work and we gather around the kitchen, catching up with his day, making and eating food together. (When he isn’t too tired and just goes straight to his room.) It’s a fine line to walk between parenting like you did when they were kids and moving into being a gentle guide in their lives. It takes time for the parent to figure that out, and grace from the young adult toward the parent, as we all navigate and move into new relationship dynamics. We’re doing the best we can over here and are so grateful he is our son. What a wonderful, smart, responsible young man. Motherhood has been my greatest joy and blessing, even as difficult as it was raising up littles while chronically ill – it’s been truly the best part of my life. I’m so grateful we had children. I can’t picture my life without them. I’ll be an old, gray woman (God willing) and, when I look back over my life, it will be them (and my husband) that will have meant the most. (I am grateful for all my relationships but you know, these are just extra special.) So happy.
Gratitude in the Sky
I don’t think I could be any more grateful for my life, love, family, God, and my fighting body than I am tonight. And I’m a pretty grateful person. I just feel so wrapped in the arms of love tonight. I’ve got so much gratitude in my heart that far exceeds the hardship and pain that I and have experienced in my life. I don’t have all the answers as to why I’m able to live in such a deep place of gratitude and joy and peace even in the middle of tremendous pain and hardship and disabling symptoms in my body – but, I know some of it… I can say is that a big part for me is the love of family and my relationship with Jesus, knowing Him in a way, ever since I was a little girl, (without religion or man screwing it up) that gives me strength and supernatural joy. I also believe, for my own situation, that coming to a place of acceptance of my health, and my limitations in my body, has been a force for good in my life and that force for good has brought me to a place of peace and contentment for where I’m at, and where my life might always be. That’s not to say that I don’t work towards more healing, and that I don’t wish for a healthier body and mind. But it is to say that I am not fighting against my reality right now like I used to, and for me, at this point in my life, that has given me a deep sense of peace. I’m just going to bed with a happy heart tonight and for that I’m supremely grateful. Here are three things I’m grateful for today Number one – the extremely oppressive heat finally breaking enough that we were able to get out as a family and enjoy nature on a walk. Number two – having a good laugh with my dear friend Claudia tonight over our instant messenger chats. Number three – a delicious lunch treat from panda express in which I enjoyed orange chicken, white rice, and Rangoon. Oh, and a refreshing fountain Coke, which always makes me happy when I splurge in that way. Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. Genesis : NIV So, as I lay my head down to rest tonight, I pray for dreams from heaven, renewing of body, and a peace for my mind. I wish the same for you. Recommended reading:
Hello there
I’m Nell and that handsome man is my husband of 21 years! Yep! And, we’ve actually been together for 25 years – a quarter of a century, wow. We have three great boys – all teens, one an adult teen – and live in Texas. I write about my life, my heart, my health, my family – welcome to my online journal.
