I’m not superwoman but I’m fighting Lyme disease so close enough.
This week I saw a graphic floating around Facebook about faking illness.
Every day I pretend that I’m okay. Every day I wake up, get the kids ready for school, take them to school, come home and nap (because if I don’t I literally cannot function), run errands, clean, do laundry, stitch, pick the kids up from school, talk to my friends, help with homework, do dinner, get the kids ready for bed, at least once a week go out with my husband, and hang out with my in-laws, all the while, still pretty darn sick. And most of the time, you wouldn’t know I’m sick by looking at me and all I do in a day.
Everyone with a chronic, long lasting disease does the same as I do. We have to continue living life even if our bodies don’t want to. For example, today all I really wanted to do was lay down on the couch all day and sleep. I’m super fatigued, low energy, weak muscles, and tired, tired, tired. But I got up, got dressed, got the kids dressed, went out for breakfast, came home and spent hours cleaning, doing laundry, and packing orders. I then talked to my brother, my best friend, did more laundry, did lunch, and took the kids for a bike ride.
I’m laying on the couch typing this and my muscles are literally shaking as I type this because they are so exhausted and so weak. I have terrible air hunger, and am so fatigued that even laying propped up on the couch is exhausting me. But not once did I tell anyone any of this. I didn’t tell my kids to stay in their rooms all day because mommy isn’t feeling well. I didn’t tell my brother I’m sick today. I didn’t go into details of how I’m feeling with my best friend. I pretended that I felt good. I pretended I was healthy.
So if there is ever any attitude from anyone in my life that I’m faking, or making more out of it, or talking about it too much – I will just shrug it off because I know the truth. I live in this broken body daily. I don’t need anyone to believe me that I’m as sick as I am. God and I know the truth and God and I know how hard I fight every day just to live like healthy people live. I am superwoman. I am a warrior. I choose to fight my body and live my life. But I also nurture it, taking naps when I need them, laying down when I need to. It’s a fine balance. One I’m walking fairly well.