I’m having a really trying week, emotionally and physically. I don’t often blog about my rough days. Not for any other reason except that I think it’s a given that we all have rough days.
But, this week has been especially difficult and I just feel like I need to share. My 3 year old has been showing signs of being on the Spectrum (autism spectrum) for quite some time now.
We are set for four evaluations with the school district on a variety of issues and one is being screened for being on the spectrum. Unbelievable all four are scheduled within the next two weeks…it’s going to be a bit overwhelming for both of us. It needs to get done, though.
So, this week everything just feels more overwhelming. Some of his behavior has been magnified in its intensity. I’m constantly breaking up the boys because my oldest is pushing him, poking him, pinching him…etc.
He is incredibly emotional and will cry when told no, asked to do something, or even if I simply leave the room. And these aren’t fits…he doesn’t throw himself down on the ground and kick and scream. It’s simply a good cry for whatever reason.
And, he can’t seem to handle me looking at him or even singing…in fact, last night I was singing like I normally do, and he kept shaking his head, put his hand out, and then laid down and began crying.
It’s just been rough. I love him dearly and only want the best for him. I hate to see him struggle with social interaction, normal love/dislike relationship with his younger brother (it’s more dislike), being able to hug, kiss, or even be tickled (he can’t handle much of that at all…and usually only with me), or even hold eye contact. There is much more, but I don’t feel I really need to get into it all to express how exhausted I am.
It breaks my heart for him and it’s overwhelming for me. I’m not one to “complain” or “vent”…not online and not offline. I’m usually a very strong, optimistic person. I just feel run down right now.
Whether or not my son is on the Autism Spectrum or not I know he needs help with many of the things I just mentioned. I’m so ready for these evaluations to give me an answer to the issues so that I can address them and help my son. The thought of finding out what is going on actually doesn’t scare me. It actually sends some relief my way.
I just needed to get that out and have a nice “there-there” pat on the back from my mommy blogging friends.
Okay, back to my boys now…