[I] laid down on our green and blue plaid couch, rocking side to side in pain. Head throbbing, more like splitting from the inside out. Eyes throbbed, stomach churned, noises and lights making the pain much worse, it really did feel like the end of the world. All I could do was lay there, pillow over head, crying, begging God for healing.
As I lay on the couch, listening to Niki Ochenski Weller’s testimony play on my TV, He appeared to me. Jesus came to me in a vision, my eyes were closed, but I was seeing Him as clear as day – not an imagination, rather a vision from God. I first noticed His feet, the sandals upon them, and a long robe-like garment lightly touching the tops of them. He bent down, lifting me from the couch, holding me like you’d hold your wife, carrying her across the threshold of your home for the first time.
Laying my head across His chest, He walked me away from my home and into an old world scenery, something that might have seen back when Jesus walked the earth. I could hear the rocks and dirt crunching beneath his feet, could feel the motion of Him walking, and heard His heartbeat under my head. Never had I felt more at peace, more at home. This is where I belonged, where I’ve always belonged, tucked safely in the arms of my Messiah.
Looking up, I noticed his facial hair, how it felt when I reached up, touching His face. It was rough but somehow still soft. I noticed the hair on His head, how it was long but not too long. I couldn’t see much of His face from the angle I was position, but at that moment I didn’t even care that I couldn’t see His eyes – I felt so at home, that’s all that mattered. Looking out, I noticed that we were approaching an old world city, with broken down buildings made of stone, people milling about, but no one paying attention to us, we weren’t paying attention to them either, only fascinated with one another.
It felt as though we were communicating with one another even though neither of us were speaking. We knew each others thoughts before our mouths could open to speak them, spilling them out into the air. I was so loved in those moments with Christ, so very loved. He was strong, never had I felt so safe. He was tall, He felt 6 foot to me. I was up in the air, looking down on earth in a way I hadn’t seen before while walking on my own two feet.
The pool came into view, I knew in my heart that’s where we were headed. It was broken down, made of stone, had large cracks, filled with water. We were the only two in sight, almost as though the pool was created just for us. There were tall walls around it, it was fairly dark from the walls around it, but it wasn’t fully enclosed, the sun beamed in through the top. It felt as though the walls around us were connected to other buildings but I didn’t pay much attention to really know for certain.
Jesus began walking down step-by-step, the water slowly coming up further and further as He descended into the pool with me. His arms held me safe and strong, the water pulled our clothing tighter around our bodies, as we sank into the deepest end of the pool. The water was Luke-warm as it lapped against us. Jesus dunked me under the water, it rushed around my head, covering me with its healing power, up I came leaving the peace of the deep water which was now beneath me.
Jesus turned, walking us back up the stone steps. Step by step the water poured off His robe, the sounds of water dropped onto the stones below. Watching my Saviors feet come back into view I noticed His robe was soaking wet, the water pooling at His feet now. He gently dropped me down onto the earth underneath me, I stood facing away from Christ. The sun hit me, warming my body. Stones, mixed with some grass, and weeds, and straw came into view – off in the distance I noticed a few trees, and old time houses, small, likely made of stone, though I couldn’t tell from where I stood. Something you’d see in a movie about the Bible.
Turning my body around, I stood there, face-to-face with Jesus. My breath left my body, my heart raced, His eyes – oh His glorious eyes! They met my gaze, He knew my thoughts, He felt my love, I realized then He was made of love, He truly IS love. His being is love. Love isn’t something God created, love is God – and through God, we love one another. His face was glorious. Even though I was seeing His face for the first time, I wasn’t lost in some kind of awe you might have when meeting your idol for the first time. I noticed His features, like you would scan the face of anyone you’d meet, but it was normal – it felt so normal to be looking at Christ. Like how it will feel when we make it to heaven and see Him face-to-face everyday.
He stepped forward – the water still dripping from His robe – crunching underneath His sandals, as He approached me. With His hands, He began pulling my skin off me. Every part of my old skin He ripped from my body, tossing it aside. The old skin gathered to the sides of me, laying on the gravel, in its place brand new healed skin emerged, and it was then that I realized my entire body had been regenerated, all the diseased parts were gone, replaced with the newness, and wholeness, God first created within me as I grew inside my mothers womb 32 years earlier.
Jesus opened His mouth – words spilling into the air – hearing His voice, I wept. I cry now as I recall it. He said, “you’re healed, go in peace, my child“. And with that the vision was over. Jesus was gone. The water, the pool, the stone, and gravel, the old world scenery was all gone. I was back on my couch, under the pillow, with a splitting headache, crying. Only now I cried tears of joy, as I was covered in His peace, and love, and joy. I had the same pain as before the vision but it didn’t matter now. I’d just seen Jesus for the first time. I was held by Him. I was washed clean by Him. I’d felt Him, and listened to His thoughts, and felt His heart beat. I’d been stripped of my old diseased skin, and cells, and had been regenerated by Him. And though the healing had yet to manifest in the physical, I then knew without a shadow of a doubt, that the healing had already taken place in the spiritual. It was coming, it would manifest.
Jesus loved me enough to come in my hour of need, bringing me comfort, compassion, and healing instead of bashing me over the head with words of condemnation, angry that I lay on my couch crying in pain, instead of standing in faith for my healing. God knew my need in that moment, sent Jesus, bringing me the comfort, and hope, that I needed at that time. I’ll never forget that day. I’ll never forget the details, the emotions, the love, the peace, and the utter and complete feeling of being at home that He gave to me as I was held in His strong arms.