On My Mind, In My Heart.

I’m feeling a little sad about moving. Don’t get me wrong, I want to go. We are going. But I’m thinking about being away from my family. I’m thinking about my children being moved away from their friends. I’m thinking about being scared shitless about moving to a brand new state I’ve never stepped foot in. With any big decision, there is some fear. And maybe even some tears shed.

I’ve been thinking about homeschooling. Thinking it would be nice to homeschool my children. Thinking I might be nuts. I like them in school. I enjoy the break. I like to know they are being educated by qualified teachers. And they have fun at school. But my heart has been feeling a leading in that direction. I don’t know what the future holds, only God does. I may homeschool. I may not. I probably won’t. Or maybe I will.

I’ve been longing for another baby. My husband can’t have children anymore, so bio babies is out of the question. I just can’t imagine my life without a daughter in it. I know my boys will marry and I’ll have daughters-in-law, but let’s face it, for most people, that just isn’t going to be the same kind of relationship as you’d have with your own daughter. Maybe my dream of adopting will come true.

I can’t believe how big my kids are getting. I have a nine, seven, and five year old. They are sprouting up. And fast. It’s such a bittersweet time in my life. I adore having older children but also miss the younger years. I know this time in my life, this precious, sacred time in my life, will be gone before I blink. I’m honored to be the mother of these amazing little boys.

Life is moving fast.

(I had to close comments throughout my blog because of the hundreds of spam comments I was receiving and nothing seemed to be helping.)

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