Thankful Saturday – I Still Have My Mother

june8018I was supposed to participate in “Thankful Thursday”, but wanted to hold over my thankful post until today….Saturday.

You see, this date last year my mother lay in a hospital room in a coma barely hanging onto life.

She was hooked up to everything a person can be in order to live and it was touch and go for a few days.

The doctors informed us that she would likely not survive and if she did there would surely be severe brain damage.

Walking into the room, seeing a completely lifeless person who barely resembled my mother hooked up to machines was the worst pain I had felt.

To make matters worst I was 5 moths pregnant and couldn’t allow myself to feel and react the way one would normally, because I wouldn’t let anything jeopardize the life of my little son growing in my body.

After much prayer, believe, faith, and tears my mother came out of her coma, had not one lick of brain damage or long term physical damage. And after 6 days in the hospital she was moved to the mental ward of a neighboring hospital.

You see my mother tried to take her own life that night a year ago. When you get the call that your mother is in the hospital barely alive it’s hard enough, but then when you find out it was at her own hand it adds a new level of pain and grief.

I have since forgiven my mother for almost taking her life…for almost leaving me without a mother, my step father without a wife, my brother without a mom, my kids without a grandma and…for almost never meeting my baby boy.

I’ve also grown tremendously in my faith, grown closer to my husband, and developed a new sense of living each day to its fullest and always expressing your love for someone in the moment…and not ever thinking “I’ll have tomorrow to say that or do that…”.

So much has changed in a year. And, although life is much better and so is my mother I know she has more healing and growth ahead of her. With Gods love and generous second chance, her families support and love, and her own gratitude for this second chance I know she’ll continue to become a happier and healthier person.

I’m thankful for many things…my moms second chance at life, the police offer who found her, the doctors and nurses who worked hard to keep her alive, my step dads never dying strong faith, my husbands support in what seems like the most painful two years in our families life, and most of all I’m thankful that my sons still have their grandmother in their life.

I’m also thankful for the few close friendships I’ve developed online in the past two years. The friends that have been there for me and my family during the hard times. Their love, support, and caring means more to me then they could possibly understand…ever! And, you know who you are…if you’re reading this please know how much I love you all.

I’d like to wrap this post up saying that if you ever suspect a loved one is depressed or has ever mentioned taking their lives…please take the time to get them the help and support they need. Sadly, not everyone makes it through a suicide attempt so we can never take a chance that they “aren’t serious” about their threat.

I love you Mama.

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