Today we picked up a note-book and folder to keep track of Adam’s health records. In other words, it’s where all his cancer papers will go. It’s still so hard to believe that he has cancer. He doesn’t look any different, feel any different, seem any different – and yet, he is. His body is carrying cancer around in it. It’s still very surreal, almost like we’re just floating through this diagnosis.
We see a special oncologist this coming week, who will consult with us, and decide if he is a candidate for the special radiation treatment he does for his patients. Typically only the young get it. Now to find out is 37 is young enough. See, with typical radiation you can actually get another form of cancer later down the road. Well, Adam’s later down the road is still young. So that is why our first oncologist has recommended we check out this special radiation first.
We told the kids about Daddy’s diagnosis of cancer the other night. It went as well as to be expected, really. We were very gentle with the news. We didn’t make it sound scary and we weren’t somber. We were serious about what we were telling them, but we didn’t make it sound scary. Scarier than it is, anyway.
Dash didn’t understand the word cancer, so we just let him know it’s a disease that the doctors are going to cure and make go away in Daddy. That seemed to be enough for him at his young age. Nick has very intelligent questions and seemed to be somewhat familiar with cancer. I’m thinking he probably learned some about cancer in school. He was concerned about Daddy but after answering his questions, he seemed to be okay. And then there’s Zane. He was most concerned. He has been most concerned throughout this entire process. He was worried Daddy would die from it. After much reassurance, he seemed to have calmed down and accept that Daddy is going to be okay.
It was hard. And sad. And not anything I ever wanted to tell my children, but they did well over all. And we both felt it was important not to keep them in the dark. I don’t believe in family secrets. They are unhealthy, damaging, and hurtful because, really, most of the time those you are keeping the secret from, figure it out, or enough of it, to know you kept the secret in the first place. They are a very important part of our lives and deserve to be “in on it”. I’m so proud of my babies and how mature and strong they are.
I’m so thankful the oncologist seems to be very confident they will cure Adam. Now it’s just about getting him the best treatment with the least amount of risk for further cancers down the road.
